I met him in a crowded room Where people go to drink away their gloom He sat me down and so began The story of a charmless man
Educated the expensive way He knows his Claret from his Beaujolais I think he'd like to have been Ronnie Kray But then, nature didn't make him that way (that way)
Na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah Na na na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah
He thinks he's educated, airs those family shares (Ooo-ooo-wooo-ooo-ooh) Will protect him, (Ooo-ooo-ooh) that we'll respect him He moves in circles of friends Who just pretend (Ooo-ooo-wooo-ooo-ooh) that they like him (Ooo-ooo-ooh) He does the same to them And when you put it all together, there's the model of a charmless man
Na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah Na na na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah
He knows the swingers and their cavalry Says he can get in anywhere for free I began to go a little cross-eyed And from this charmless man I just had to hide (away)
Na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah Na na na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah
He talks at speed, he gets nosebleeds He doesn't see (Ooo-ooo-wooo-ooo-ooh) his days are tumbling Down upon him (Ooo-ooo-ooh) And yet he tries so hard to please He's just so keen (Ooo-ooo-wooo-ooo-ooh) for you to listen (Ooo-ooo-ooh) But no one's listening And when you put it all together, there's the model of a charmless man
[Bouncy guitar solo] [Something mumbled in background (sounds like "it's no fair, but do we care?")]
He thinks he's educated, airs those family shares (Ooo-ooo-wooo-ooo-ooh) Will protect him (Ooo-ooo-ooh), that you'll respect him And yet he tries so hard to please He's just so keen (Ooo-ooo-wooo-ooo-ooh) for you to listen (Ooo-ooo-ooh) But no one's listening And when you put it all together, there's the model of a charmless man
Na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah Na na na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah Na na na na na na naaaaaa na naaaa-ah Na na na na na na naaaaaa na na na na na naaaaaa na na na na na naaaaaa na naah
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