Oh lighten up, where's your sense of humor They're just tiny little rumors That I started 'cause I'm lookin' out for you Oh settle down, I'm just a little jealous And I'm sure those other fellas Never once believed the lies I told were true
Like the time I told that cowboy that you used to be a man And the doctor you were datin' that you hide your wedding band Even if I am responsible for scaring them away You really ought to thank me, I was doin' you a favor 'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway
Oh can't you see, the reason that I'm doin' All the crazy things I'm doin' Is because I really care about you girl And I'll admit I go a little farther Than I know I probably oughta But it's all because I need you in my world
Like the time I told that lawyer that you spent a year in jail And the salesman you were seein' you hang out at cheap motels Even if I am responsible for scaring them away You really ought to thank me, I was doin' you a favor 'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway
I can't stand the thought of you with anybody else I know I've gone overboard but I can't help myself
Like the time I told that dentist you had seven little kids And you doubled as a dancer at the strip joint on the ridge Even if I am responsible for scaring him away You really ought to thank me, I was doin' you a favor 'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway It's all because I love you and I can't stop thinkin' of you And it never woulda worked out anyway
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