Through a long and sleepless night / I thought upon the jury's plight If what is wrong can feel so right / then life's no longer black and White It's four o'clock and all's not well / in my private circle of hell I contemplate my navel hair / and slowly slide into despair This rut has fast become a trench / This smell has turned into the Stench Of rotten dreams and stale ideals / The past is snapping at my heels Oh Danny Boy the pipes are blocked / with bedtime blues and future shock I know the best is yet to come / but does it always take this long? I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimes But I will always be the bridegroom and never the bride You deserve to be horse-whipped / But I've no horse that joke's so shit And whips would only make it worse / don't tempt the lonely and perverse The casualties of casual sex / The child of three with X-ray specs The conman low in self-esteem / The Casanova in your dreams I'll scream and scream and scream until / I've made myself critically Ill In hospital in case you're there / in uniform, intensive care I know you'll be the death of me / but what a cool death that would be I'd rather die than be deprived / of Wonderbras and thunder thighs I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimes But I will always be the bridegroom and never the bride Bored of normality? Why not go daft? / It's easy to do if you try Slide right back down that self-confident path / you've just so Laboriously climbed Pickle your liver and addle your brain / Live the Bohemian life Die young and penniless somewhere in Spain / Then again you could try Just to live your own life In the way that you find most amusing / I DON'T REALLY CARE! I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimes But I will always be the bridegroom and I will never be the bride Never be the bride
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