I want to tell you all a story 'bout a Harper Valley widow wife Who had a teenage daughter that attended Harper Valley Junior High Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play And she said, "Mama, I've got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA" Well the note says "Mrs. Johnson, you're wearing your dresses way too high It's been reported you've been drinkin' and a runnin' round with men and goin' wild Now we don't believe you ought to be a bringin' up your little girl this way" And it was signed by the Secretary, Harper Valley PTA
Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon And boy, were they surprised as Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room And as she walked up to the blackboard I can still recall the word she had to say She said "I'd like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA
Now there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there and seven times he's asked me for a date And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he's away And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town And shouldn't widow Jones be told to keep her window shades all pulled completely down
Now Mr. Harper couldn't be here 'cause he's stayed too long in Kelly's bar again And if you smell Shirley Thompson's breath you'll find she's had a little nip of gin And then you have the nerve to tell me as a mother you think that I ain't fit Well this is just a little Payton place and you're all Harper Valley hypocrits
Now I wouldn't put you on because it really did, it happened just this way That day my Mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA That day my Mama socked it to 'em at the Harper Valley PTA
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