Everywhere all around me people they be just Be talking all about the camp as if their bike is gonna rust If they don't begin to pedal 'cause if the rain hits the metal The parts that are wet'll corrode if the drops settle But there's no rain falling from the pink and orange sky Turning blue twilight but panic is the highlight On the six o'clock broadcast an everyday nailfile Picks the lock and now the big chains get sawed past! And I'm a no-helmet-wearing member of the Tour De France Bike race .. and the cop at the border wants To see my passport photo .. to make a copy For me to autograph, and my bike is a jalopy So I can't see myself winning, and I decide to Pace myself from the begining; I'm not rushin'(Russian) I'm not a German Nazi, I look to the sky and see stars Like the paparazzi... I concentrate on the Campground; I can't see the big and yellow dashes In the middle of the road because it's covered in ashes Two inches deep, making for treacherous conditions Poor visibility and rising suspicions I know I'm not in hell, I don't hear the sounds of G-funk But I'm trying to get my bicycle past a fallen tree trunk That's blocking the road off, barricade fashion My legs are getting tired and some other guys are crashing Because of the ashes and there's a long way to go, still... I can't believe how dark it is... There's a whole lot of hills and sharp corners to navigate, and Vampires, in the distance I can see the campfires There's probably only two miles left to reach the destination According to my estimation I can't be getting lazy, organizers may be spying As I get a little closer, I can hear the babies crying I've got loose teeth and skid marks but Those thoughts diminish as I cross the finish.
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