The Biggest Ball Of Twine In Minnesota Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming. After workin' all year down at Big Roy's Heating and Plumbing. So one night, when my family and I were gathered round the dinner table, I said, "Kids... If you could go anywhere in this great big world, now Where'd you like to go to?" They said, "Dad... We wanna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota." They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
So the very next day we loaded up the car with potato skins and pickled weiners, Crossword puzzles, Spiderman comics and mama's homemade rhubarb pie, Pulled out of the driveway, and the neighbors, they all waved goodbye. And so began our three-day journey. We picked up a guy holdin' a sign that said "Twine Ball or Bust." He smelled real bad, and he said his name was Bernie. I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net. Kids were in the back seat jumpin' up and down, yellin' "Are we there yet?" And all of us were joined together in one common thought, As we rolled down the long and winding Interstate in our '53 DeSoto. We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota. We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
Oh, we couldn't wait to get there, so we drove straight through for three whole days and nights. Of course, we stopped for more pickled weiners now and then. The scenery was just so pretty, boy, I wish the kids could've seen it. But you can't see out of the side of the car because the windows are completely covered With the decals from all the places where we've already been. Like Elvis-a-Rama, the Tupperware Museum, The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World, The Shuffleboard Hall of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock, And the Mecca of Albino Squirrels. We've been to ghost towns, steam parks, wax museums, And a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree. Seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches, But there's still one thing we've gotta see.
Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39, And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball Exit - fifty miles." Oh, the kids were so happy, they started singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" for the Twenty-seventh time that day. So we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station, Got a few more pickled weiners and a diet chocolate soda, On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota. We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
Finally at 7:37 early Wednesday evening, as the sun was setting in the Minnesota sky, Out in the distance, on the horizon it appeared to me like a vision before my unbelieving eyes.
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